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Once upon a time, during the Oprah show days, I discovered some very comfy red-checkered flannel pajamas and some unbelievably cozy shearling-lined boots that kept my feet warm on even the most chilling Chicago days. I adored those pajamas. And those Uggs. I wanted everyone I knew to experience and adore them, too. So I bought them for everyone I worked with, which at the time was about 490 people.
When I ran out of people I knew, I wanted to keep sharing–with everyone who knew me. Thus the idea of Favorite Things.
These days, choosing my Favorite Things makes me a little cuckoo. What started as an organic extension of wanting to treat people to some things I truly loved has turned into an annual list that takes a team to curate.
I then go through every item, picking my favorites and narrowing the selection to my own. It’s a process. Because it’s important for me to remain as true to my original inspiration as possible.
My guideline: Do I really like it enough to want to receive it myself?
You remember those Oprah shows when the audience went wild enough to become the subject of a Saturday Night Live skit? I’m telling you, they were as much LOL fun as they looked! Nights before the big giveaways, I couldn’t sleep from my own anticipated joy of giving. And this I came to realize: It wasn’t the gift itself that would be remembered. It was the spirit, energy, and excitement of being in that moment.
This is why, in my personal life, I give only when the spirit of the giving is right for me. I don’t like exchanging presents just because an occasion calls for it. And if I must give something other than flowers to acknowledge a birthday or a special accomplishment, I put a lot of thought into what would be meaningful and most appreciated. For me, the gift is a symbol of a feeling.
And it’s equally delightful for the giver and the receiver. Some of my best and most extravagant gifts have been vacations or spa trips for friends, because I know experiences make memories.
I’ve given Beats headphones to girls from my South African school. Makeup kits from Anastasia Beverly Hills. Tickets for Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s On the Run II Tour. In every case, the giftee’s joy has fueled my own. I’ve felt equally rewarded sharing a book of poetry or introducing a new author who inspired the recipient or elevated their thinking.
So what are your gifts to give? We’ve all heard it’s the thought that counts. True that. But it’s also the intention behind the thought. The greatest offering is letting someone know through your actions and your words that they matter.
For my 64th birthday, one of the girls from my school put into a small wooden box “64 Reasons Why I Love You.” Sixty-four folded strips of paper, each with handwritten words that seared my heart. Some of the most thoughtful observations and appreciations. I’ll cherish them forever. It’s the most perfect gift I’ve ever received. And other than the price of the little wooden box, the only cost was time. The time it takes to say “I love you.” That, I know for sure, is your most powerful gift to give.
